Spock's Disembodied Brain

After some apprehension, I decided to review possibly the worst episode in history of Star Trek: The Original Series(ST:TOS) entitled, "Spock's Brain (Episode 61)."

The Enterprise stumbles upon a small, highly advanced vessel, but is unable to communicate with it, and thus the episode starts off not too out of the ordinary for Star Trek, but true believers had no idea what was to come next--back in the day. My spouse and I sat down to watch the usual Sunday night digitally remastered Trek--both of us being avid Star Trek fans. The only reason my spouse gave was this: to see the remastered version.

Little did I know that the woman in the skimpy purple outfit transporting onto the Bridge would signify the beginning of the most ludicrous Star Trek episode ever made. I mean ludicrous in the sense of being uproariously funny, and altogether bad at the same time. At first it looks like Captain Kirk's new fling, but we quickly see that the Brunette Barbarella bombshell has other plans--none other than stealing Spock's brain. Her spaceship does look impressive with the new effects. This "Barbarella" has had way too many drugs, for she is far too happy for words (You have to see it for yourself). Kara's purple outfit was vintage if not cool. The "Boing" waves knock out the crew by the push of a button on her wrist that makes you wish Jeannie from "I Dream of Jeannie" were guest-starring--at least she could have knocked out the crew at once and not have had to merrily go deck by deck.

When they all wake up, we hear McCoy tell Kirk, "Jim--his brain is gone." You do have to give the actors credit for taking this so seriously because it must've been hard to keep a straight face, and Kelly's classic eye wrinkle is so convincing--if only the episode were. Here, we see Kirk facing a Kobayashi-Maru, a no-win scenario for Spock again, and he fights Spock's fate. The Class M planet they were supposed to go to was Sigma Draconis Six, with sapient life, but later in the episode, it is referred to as "Sigma Draconis Seven." This error in the plot makes me feel sorry for the writer, Lee Cronin--hope he had work after this episode was over. As always, Kirk, the luckiest Captain ever, makes the right guess of which planet Spock is on due to the energy bursts emanating from it in regular intervals.

Once on the planet, we learn that the men are called Morg, and they fear the "Givers of Pain and Delight," the Eymorg, as well as that the men have no concept of the word "woman." You might wonder how these people reproduce at first, but luckily, the Eymorg have the apish male slaves for that. Again, Kirk's luck holds up as the trap doesn't go off the first time they enter the cave, but you're going to wish that it did because of what happens next: we see Spock in the "Brain Body Movement Device," which clicks around like winding a mechanical clock. The away team meets Luma, and later Kara, the woman who took Spock's brain--both of whom possess the minds of children. Gosh, it is so cheesy even saying that.

Once they hear and trace Spock's voice on their transmitter, Spock chimes by attempting to crack a joke. The frightening consequences of being captured by the "Givers of Pain and Delight" that Kirk is so concerned about appears to be turned into sex slaves such as the other men the women provocatively were feeding. We learn that Spock has become "the Controller," and thus controls their sprawling, underground complex built by the ancients. Shatner is so good at those throes of pain! We cut to Lieutenant Sulu for an update on "stating the obvious." As Kirk points out that the delightful aspects are strictly under the control of the women, we learn that this is, of course, a perplexing issue to him--what a womanizer! As a commentary on a society domineered by women, this episode fails miserably. McCoy gets denigrated by Spock, but points out that "the skill to replace a brain does not yet exist in the galaxy."

Next, we see Spock (let's just rename him Creepy Nimoy meets Jason. shall we?) clicking around in Barbarella-land. Of course, when this was aired, the notion of a society ruled by women was apparently treated as some male fantasy land, yet speaks to a parallel between the pain and pleasure involved in all relationships on a universal scale. And last, but not insignificant, we find that Spock is in a black box tied with light rays into a futuristic machination.

This episode has brought me to a startling conclusion: Trek is Trek. However futile this episode may seem, the concept of "The Teacher" is a science fiction concept that has been revisited time and time again--from the quagmire of this episode, a gem of science fiction emerges.

Though the teacher looks more like a modified hairdryer prop with no special effects, the concept was revisited in StarGate:SG-1--first with Colonel Jack O'Neill, and then with Daniel Jackson. Like "The Teacher" in "Spock's Brain," the knowledge of the ancients does not last--a kind of flash drive of downloaded knowledge. Hello--anyone ever heard of "The Matrix?"

A moment of foreshadowing of the greater concepts of Star Trek II and III occur in this very episode. Spock believes they should not have risked so much for the one(himself), and likewise, Kirk risks everything to save him. Then, the cheesiest part of the episode is when Spock gets right up after McCoy finishes operating and when "Bones" starts to forget the ancient knowledge--even if he saved Spock--the following part where they reconnect Spock's vocal chords is so utterly implausible. The first time I watched this, I burst out into loud laughter. And of course, there is no sign of the surgery, as Spock himself is as if nothing had ever happened. "Truly terrifying, Captain, . . ." as Scotty would say.